By Adam Bird, Director of Strategy, Deksia
The three sentences that can sink a website's conversion rate are also the three most likely to remain untouched in a website redesign: the headline, the subhead underneath it, and the words on the button. Layout gets rearranged. The palette gets brightened. A video gets added to the hero section. But these three sentences, read a hundred times by everyone on the team, stop getting noticed at all.
They sound fine read aloud in a meeting and look fine on the page. The trouble only shows up later, in the analytics, as a bounce rate nobody can quite explain. It’s the question we hear more than almost any other: why isn’t my website converting the way it should? The answer is almost always in these three sentences.
Most website copywriting conversations focus on the paragraphs nobody reads: the about section, the feature lists, the footer. The sentences doing the most work, for better or worse, are the three shortest ones on the page.
The headline has no reason to keep reading
A homepage headline has two audiences: the person reading it and the search engine indexing it. On the SEO side, that headline is usually the page’s H1, so it needs to carry the keyword the page should rank for. On the reader’s side, its job is to give them a reason to read the next line, and a surprising number of headlines fail at exactly that. The clearest sign is a headline built around the brand’s own name rather than the reader’s problem, something like “Meridian Consulting. Reimagined.” That sentence lands only for a returning employee who already knows what “Meridian” means, which leaves out every first-time visitor the page is actually trying to reach. It doesn’t help search either, since nobody is searching for “reimagined.”
The other common version is built from adjectives instead of information: "innovative," "trusted," "results-driven," strung together in a way that could describe almost any company in almost any category. A sentence that could sit unnoticed on a competitor's homepage is a sentence built entirely from filler.
The fix is almost always the same move: replace the company's name or its adjectives with the reader's actual situation. Compare "Meridian Consulting. Reimagined." with something closer to "Stop losing good hires to a benefits package nobody can explain." The second version waits to mention the company until the next sentence, once the reader has recognized their own situation in the copy.
The subhead has no mechanism
If the headline's job is to earn attention, the subhead's job is to earn the next three seconds by explaining how the outcome actually happens. This is where a lot of otherwise decent copy goes soft, listing outcomes without naming the method behind them: "Grow faster. Save time. Scale with confidence." Every clause in that sentence promises a result without naming the mechanism behind it.
A subhead with a mechanism in it reads differently: "We rebuild your onboarding sequence around the three drop-off points costing you signups." That sentence still promises growth, but it names the lever being pulled to get there, the kind of thinking that should drive any strategic marketing plan. A named lever reads as an explanation where a bare adjective reads as a claim, and readers are more skeptical of claims than most copy gives them credit for.
The button leaves the customer out of the sentence
By the time someone reaches a button, "Learn More" has stopped meaning anything. It's the button equivalent of a shrug: a click target with no information attached to it about what happens next or why the reader would want it to.
The stronger version puts the reader back into the sentence. If the copy above the button reads "I want to stop losing hires to a benefits package nobody can explain," the button should finish that exact thought: "Fix our benefits messaging" or "Show me what changes," language built from the reader's own want rather than the company's own menu of services.
Why three sentences are worth this much attention
Which headline keeps someone reading, which subhead earns a scroll, which button gets clicked: all of that is measurable, and the measurement should settle arguments that used to end with a show of hands in a conference room. Writing the sentence is only the first half of the job. Watching what happens once it's live, and being willing to be wrong about which version was stronger, is the other half.
Most advice on how to improve website conversion rate points toward bigger interventions: new landing page templates, funnel restructuring, a different traffic channel. Those conversations aren’t wrong, but they usually skip past the sentences that have the most direct influence on whether someone stays or leaves.
If you read your own homepage recently and it sounded fine, that’s exactly the moment it’s worth a second look from someone who isn’t used to it yet. A Grand Rapids marketing agency with fresh eyes on three sentences tends to turn up more than a full redesign does.
Frequently Asked Questions
Why is my website not converting visitors into leads?
The most common reason is that the three highest-visibility sentences on the page are doing almost no work. The headline names the company instead of the reader’s situation. The subhead lists outcomes instead of naming the method behind them. The button says “Learn More” instead of completing the thought the reader already has. These three sentences survive every redesign because they get read so many times internally that no one sees them clearly anymore. Fix those three, and conversion problems often resolve before anything structural needs to change.
How do I improve my website’s conversion rate?
Start with the words before you touch the layout. A headline that speaks to the reader’s specific situation, a subhead that names the actual mechanism behind your promise, and a button that reflects the reader’s own want will outperform a newly designed page with weak copy most of the time. Run an A/B test on each element separately, watch what moves, and let the data settle the argument. That approach is faster and less expensive than a redesign, and it tells you something useful regardless of which version wins.
What should a homepage headline say?
Its job is to give the reader one reason to read the next line. That means it should name something the reader recognizes about their own situation, not the company’s name, tagline, or a set of adjectives that could describe any competitor in the category. The test is simple: if your headline could sit on a competitor’s homepage without anyone noticing, it needs a rewrite. Replace the company name or the adjectives with the reader’s actual problem, and the headline starts doing real work.
What should I write on my call to action button?
Put the reader’s want into the button, not your service menu. If the copy above the button describes a problem the reader has, the button should finish that same thought in the reader’s voice, something like “Fix our benefits messaging” or “Show me what changes” rather than “Get Started” or “Learn More.” Those generic options are button shrugs. They give no information about what happens next or why the reader would want it to. The closer the button language is to what the reader is already thinking, the more likely they are to click.
How do I know if my homepage copy is working?
Measure it, and be willing to be wrong about which version was better. Bounce rate and scroll depth are the first signals. If visitors leave within the first few seconds without scrolling, the headline isn’t holding them. If they scroll but don’t click, the button isn’t connecting to their actual want. Set up A/B tests on your headline and CTA button specifically, and let the results answer the question. Reading your own copy aloud in a meeting and deciding it sounds fine is not the same thing as knowing it’s working.
Should I rewrite my copy or redesign my website first?
Rewrite the copy first, or at minimum run it through a critical review before the redesign kicks off. The problem with redesigning first is that weak copy almost always survives the process untouched. The team gets used to reading the same headline and stops seeing it. A fresh read of just three sentences, before anyone touches the layout, tends to surface more than a complete visual overhaul does.
About the Author
Adam Bird is a Partner and Director of Strategy at Deksia. Before strategy, he was a copywriter. Before that, a photojournalist. That progression probably explains something about how he reads a webpage: not as a document to be written, but as a sequence of decisions about what a person notices first, second, and not at all. His particular eye is for the gap between what a brand thinks it’s saying and what a first-time visitor really reads.
